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书面表达(13) 今年春天你去上海野生动物园(Shanghai Wildlife...

书面表达(13

今年春天你去上海野生动物园(Shanghai Wildlife Zoo)参观。请请根据你所观所感,写一篇短文,要点如下:1.那天天气晴朗,风和日丽;

2.一路上有些人在放风筝;

3.到那里时,里面有很多游客,他们在给丹顶鹤喂食,和猴子玩耍。

4.动物和人很友好,我们应该善待动物。

5.每个人应该知道保护野生动物的重要性,因为保护动物就是保护我们自己。

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I visited Shanghai Wildlife Zoo this spring. It was sunny, windy and bright on that day. There were a few/some people flying kites on the way. When I got /arrived there,there are many visitors. They were giving food to red crowned-cranes and playing with monkeys. Animals and people get on well with each other. We should be friendly to them. Everyone should protecting the wildlife, because protecting animals is protecting ourselves. 【解析】 试题分析:这篇作文要求我们描述一次去上海野生动物园的参观,显然是一篇记叙文,属于提纲类作文。此书面表达的内容涉及到过去经历这一主题,提醒我们平时要多留意发生在生活中的平凡的事,并记录下来。写作任务中给了一定的写作要求,在明确完整表达的同时,需要运用恰当的写作顺序,力求表达流畅,不可遗漏要点。 写作要点:1.适当地导入今年春天去上海野生动物园(Shanghai Wildlife Zoo)参观; 2.天气晴朗,风和日丽; 3.到那里时,里面有很多游客,他们在给丹顶鹤喂食,和猴子玩耍; 4.动物和人很友好,我们应该善待动物; 5.表达感受,升华主题。每个人应该知道保护野生动物的重要性,因为保护动物就是保护我们自己。 【亮点说明】这是一篇比较优秀的作文,作者按照题目的要求描述了去上海野生动物园的参观之行,首尾照应,结构紧凑。全文中心突出,详细全面的照应了写作任务中所有要点。 There were a few/some people flying kites on the way;When I got /arrived there,there are many visitors. when引导的时间状语句;以及Everyone should know the importance of protecting the wildlife, because protecting animals is protecting ourselves.中because引导的原因状语从句,等固定句型使文章锦上添花。文中多处使用了固定短语:play with,get on well with each other,be friendly to,know the importance of 等,展示了作者的高超妙笔生花的能力。 考点:提纲类作文  
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