Joke l:
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan. “What was that for?” the man asked.
The wife replied, “That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it I found in your pocket.” The man then said, “When l was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.” The wife apologized and went on with the housework. Three days later the man was watching TV when his wife hit him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon regaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again. Wife replied, “Your horse phoned.”
Joke 2:
“Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees.
“Yes, sir, ” the new employee replied.
“Well, then, that makes everything just fine, ” the boss went on. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral. she stopped in to see you!”
Joke 3:
“Oh, I am happy to see you, ” the little boy said to his grandmother on his mother's side. “Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us. ” The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that?” she asked.
“I heard him tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit, ” the little boy answered.
Joke 4:
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, he signaled for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what Martha?”
“What dear?” she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
“I’m beginning to think you’re bad luck…”
1.The wife became angry suddenly in Joke 1 because __________.
A. she had her frying pan burned while away
B. her husband made a bet on a horse but lost
C. her husband was carrying with himself a woman’s name
D. her husband’s pocket money was lost without any reason
2.Who called the husband in Joke 1?
A. The organization of the horse races of a club.
B. Jenny the man chose to bet on in the races.
C. Jenny who won the race successfully.
D. Jenny whom the man made friends with.
3.What dose the boss mean in Joke 2?
A. He was lucky to see the employee’s former grandmother.
B. The employee’s grandmother has come into heaven after death.
C. He has figured out that the employee told a lie to him.
D. The employee’s grandmother was an honest woman.
4.What can we learn about the little boy from Joke 3?
A. His father likes to make fun of his mother-in-law.
B. He likes to play tricks on others.
C. His mother is strict with him.
D. His father doesn’t like his mother-in-law to come.
5.The husband in Joke 4 means that __________.
A. he is thankful for his selfless and lovely wife
B. he realizes he is unlucky to have married his wife
C. it is fortunate to experience so many unforgettable things
D. his wife deserves all his love because of her devotion
Today, children start to use computers, smart phones and tablets from a very young age. Many parents and child experts believe that this is very wrong. They claim that early exposure to technology can make individuals lazy and distracted. That may be true, but there it is practically impossible to change the world we live in now. What we can do is embrace smart mobile technologies the best way we can. That is Microsoft’s Windows 8 App Store. One of its applications is entirely educational, Windows 8. There, students of all ages can find apps that can greatly help them in their studies. We have prepared the 4 best of them.
Wikipedia—Wikipedia is the first place where students search for information. The articles on the popular website are updated regularly and they include many details, figures and resources. With this app, you can access Wikipedia faster than ever.
SAS Flash Cards—One of the most effective ways to learn your school or university material is by using the so-called “flash cards”. This app, however, allows users to create an entire set of cards in a matter of minutes. Also, the cards can be divided into different subject categories, which makes studying easier and more fun than ever before.
Kindle Reader—If you don't have a Kindle e-Book reader, you can use your Windows 8 device. Just install this app and the Kindle word will land in your smart phone, tablet or laptop. With the Kin-die Reader W8 app, you can also organize and store all of your favorite books.
My Study Life—This application is the mobile version of the website My Study Life. The app can be very useful for students in terms of school and university organization. There you can store all the information you want like homework, assignments and papers. In addition, you can create your own school calendar that will remind you of your upcoming exams, for instance.
There is one main reason why these Windows 8 apps are appropriate for students. Apart from useful, they are completely free! All you need to do is go to Microsoft’s Windows 8 App Store, download the applications you want and install them onto your device.
1.The underlined part means we should __________.
A. update the technologies as often as we can
B. accept the smart mobile applications willingly
C. purchase a smart mobile with much money
D. develop some new smart mobile functions
2.If you want to know of Rafael Nadal you can use __________.
A. WikipediaB. SAS Flash Cards C. Kindle Reader D. My Study Life
3.The function of “flash cards” is __________.
A. to make your smart phone closely attached
B. to update your information every day
C. to help you get your favorite reading materials
D. to help students learn their subjects easily
4.We can learn from the passage that __________.
A. students can buy the apps at a certain discount
B. the applications above are all for nothing
C. you should pay much to download the apps
D. It’s easy for parents to keep a watch on their children
5.Which of the following is the best title for the passage?
A. Top Windows 8 Apps for Students
B. Windows 8 to Be Updated for Students
C. Games Apps in Windows 8 Store
D. Microsoft Company and Its Apps
Recently I came in contact with the true meaning of love. That would have been, Kane, a boy. Kane was the two-year-old son of Jolene, my new neighbor.
At a glance Kane was a sight. He’d been born with hard sticks for legs. And on that morning I witnessed the effect that Kane’s physical shortcomings had on his family. But I also witnessed much more than that.
I saw an extraordinary family that embraced this special child. A family that wouldn’t allow Kane to know he was different. Jolene had constructed a small cart just a few inches off the floor for his son to get around. Using his hands to move about, Kane moved the cart to “go to” any place just as everyone else was able to do. Kane worked that little cart like a master. Kane was a vital focus of the entire family. He was more than just a member of the family; he was the soul. This child was the driver, the motivator, and the founder of much of the interaction.
Much later in my life, I came to realize that God had sent this child to help some of us who just weren’t getting what love was all about. Even with my limited capacity for understanding at the time that Kane was a highly developed spirit with great wisdom.
Kane demanded attention, but not because of his mobility challenges or other apparent shortcomings. In his mind, he had no challenges or shortcomings. The truth is that he received attention because he was alive and real and had so much to offer.
Kane was and still is a lot of warm and powerful energy sent to us all, so we might learn that love surpasses all things. Kane, a fragile yet lovely baby, was here to teach us all an important lesson. And at the age of two he did just that.
1.How did the author think of Kane’s family members?
A. They were strange because they locked Kane at home.
B. It was respectable for them to start their own business.
C. It was ridiculous for them to make a cart for Kane.
D. They were greatly brave to face all the difficulties.
2.How did Kane “get to” everywhere he wanted to go?
A. By moving his cart with his own hands.
B. By asking his father to lead him ahead with a stick.
C. By asking his grandparents to push hin everywhere.
D. His parents specially employed a babysitter for him.
3.According to the author, God made Kane with disability to help _______.
A. his parents get to know their responsibility
B. his family members know the importance of union
C. people especially the healthy realize what love really means
D. people especially the disabled realize their inner power
4.Kane needed attention because he wanted to show ________.
A. he can challenge his difficulty in moving
B. he had challenges or shortcomings in his life
C. he himself needed to be looked after by others
D. he had the power to prove he was capable too
5.What can we learn from Kane’s story?
A. Love me, love my dog.
B. Love is above all things.
C. Many hands make light work.
D. Pure gold fears no fire.
It is Sunday and lunch has, as usual, come to a hurried end.My wife and I are still sitting at the table.My wife likes to be in the life of her child, but I sometimes fear she is in too deep.She has the morning on an online student forum, asking questions about UCAS Dick.
“A lot of people haven’t had any offers yet,” she says. “I said I already had one.”
“Wait,” Dick says. “Are you to be me?”
“No, I have my own login details now,” she says.
“How do you know he isn’t his own mother pretending to be him?” Dick says.
Earlier, when we all sat down to lunch, Dick, who had been to parties the evening, came back.
“Who were there?” my wife asks Dick. “What was it like?”
“It was OK.” he says.
“Not good enough,” she says. “What was the worst thing happened?” My wife’s continued question a deepening, boring silence. I start to eat faster. There is a long, highly pause in the conversation.
“So,” she says , “was it a kissing party?”
“Oh my God!” shouts Dick, his fork. “What is wrong with you? Why are you like this?”
Surrounded by further scolds, lunch comes to a hurried end. Dick finds himself with clearing up. , the running of water and the sound of washing plates are the only sounds in the room.
“ at any time you’re prepared to apologize for being rude,” she says, “you can go and finish watching the football.”
“Are you joking?” he shouts. “No way! Why I apologize to you?”
He pauses to look into the bottom of a pan, and a smile across his face. “What I mean is, I’m really very sorry,” he says, dropping the pan into the sink and running from the room. “Bye!”
“You don’t have to worry,” my wife says. “In a ’s time, you’ll be 18 and I won’t be able to do this to you any more.”
“Really?” he says.
“You’ll be a(n) ,” she says.
The boy stops to consider the blue print that after a set seven days from then on, his parents will be to stop ruining his life. He looks both doubtful and a little alarmed.
I approaches my wife,whispering to her. “Dear, I agree with you—understanding and trust may be a good way to communicate with our teen children.”
1.A.lostB.confusedC. involvedD. joined
2.A.spentB.costC. spared D. used
3.A.in need ofB.on behalf ofC. in charge ofD. as a result of
4.A.willing B.bound C. intendedD. pretending
5.A.urgentB.latter C. previous D. obvious
6.A.to beB.thatC. which D. being
7.A.focuses onB.meets withC. caters to D. deals with
8.A.motivatedB.unlikelyC. evolvedD. charged
9.A.finallyB.graduallyC. initially D. randomly
10.A.castingB.fallingC. droppingD. washing
11.A.crowdedB.furnished C. equipped D. tasked
12.A. For a timeB.Once upon a time C. Sooner or later D. In time
13.A.Unless B.SupposingC. If onlyD. While
14.A.mustB.will C. shouldD. shall
15.A.comes B.wanders C. getsD. steals
16.A.moment B.weekC. yearD. month
17.A.adultB.freedom C. originD. friend
18.A.goalB.record C. exampleD. deadline
19.A.requiredB.limitedC. forbiddenD. permitted
20.A.also B. too C. as wellD. either
— May I ask for a day off tomorrow?
—______. You know, the May Day holiday is just around the corner and every salesgirl is as busy as a bee.
A. It’s out of the question B. No problem
C. None of my businessD. I don’t care
The girl ______ in America for years. After graduation, she returned home, quite at a loss during her hunt for a job.
A. was studied B. has been studied C. studied D. was studying