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假定你是学校英语社成员李华,为了迎接 100 周年校庆,英语社要制作一本英文宣传...

假定你是学校英语社成员李华,为了迎接 100 周年校庆,英语社要制作一本英文宣传手册。外教 Mr. Smith 主动提出帮忙。请你写封邮件给他,要点如下:

1. 表示感谢;

2. 提出你的需求。

注意:1. 词数 100 左右;2. 可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯。

参考词汇:英语社 English Club 宣传手册 brochure

Dear Mr. Smith,

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Yours,

Li Hua

 

Possible version (1): Dear Mr. Smith, I’m Li Hua, a member of the English Club in our school. As the 100th anniversary of our school is drawing near, the English Club is scheduled to design an English version brochure. Learning that you offered to help, I feel more than grateful. The brochure is intended to introduce the history of our school and campus life. It’s such an important event that we can’t afford to make any mistakes in the writing. Therefore, we earnestly need your help. You are expected to give us some advice on the edition work and polish our writing. As you have been teaching in our school for years, we wonder whether you would write a short passage about your impression of our school, which will surely add something new to the brochure. We’ll have our first draft ready by the end of this week. Shall we meet at 9:00 am next Monday in your office? We need to talk in detail. Looking forward to your reply. Yours, Li Hua Possible version (2): Dear Mr. Smith, I’m Li Hua, a member of the English Club in our school. In order to celebrate the 100th birthday, the English Club is planning to make an English language brochure. I feel more than grateful to learn that you offered to help us. It’s such an important event that we are making every effort to make the brochure a good present for our school. It is expected to give a brief introduction of the history of our school and campus life. We try to make the pictures beautiful and the language vivid. That’s why we are in great need of your help. Would you please give us some advice on how to design a brochure? Besides, please polish our writing since there are unavoidably some mistakes. As we know, you are keen on photography, and you have a good collection of pictures of school activities taken in our school. We would like you to pick out some and add to the brochure. I am sure that would be interesting to display more about our school from your eyes. We are looking forward to your help. Shall we meet at 9:00 am next Monday in your office? We need to talk in detail. Looking forward to your reply. Yours, Li Hua Possible version (3): Dear Mr Smith, I’m Li Hua, a member of the English Club in our school. As the 100th anniversary of our school is coming / approaching, the English Club is planning to make a brochure in English. I feel more than glad to learn that you will give us a hand. The brochure, serving as a special present for our school, mainly focuses on the introduction to the history of our school and campus life. We are doubtful about some English expressions (We are not sure whether some expressions are proper or not). Therefore, we wonder if your could give us some advice on how to design the brochure and help us make some necessary changes when we have our first draft ready. As you have been teaching here for years, we would like to invite you to write a short passage about your experience in our school, which will definitely impress us all. Shall we meet at 9:00 a.m. next Monday in your office and have a further discussion? Looking forward to your reply. Yours, Li Hua 【解析】 本篇书面表达属于应用文,要求考生给外教写一封邮件,内容包括表达感谢和说明需求两部分。 本篇书面表达为传统的书信邮件写作题型,难度适中,从细分类型上讲,属于“感谢信”和“求助信”的结合,完成此题主要基于平时对句型的积累。 一、仔细审题,列明要点: 题目主要有两大要求,分别是“表达感谢”和“说明需求”,经过审题我们应明确:在邮件开头表达感谢之后,应尽快转入说明需求的部分。也就是详略应该得当,避免平均用力导致偏题。“说明需求”的部分应进行拓展,列明想要外教帮忙的事项,逐项写作,做到层次分明。 二、合理拓展,充实内容: “说明需求”部分进行拓展写作时,一定要仔细审题;通过审题可以发现,“外教”是关键的信息点。提出的需求内容要首先基于“外教”的身份进行设计。对于外教来说,他的最大优势就是语言优势,而此次求助的内容正是和制作英文版宣传册相关。基于此进行发挥,请求外教帮忙对英文内容检查勘误、修改语言、润色文章,或直接请求外教撰写特色文章等,都是最为合理的拓展内容。其次,可以适当对题目中的“留白”部分进行假设,例如这是一名擅长摄影、绘画的外教,契合他的这一优势我们可以提出让他摄制校园照片等请求。 三、谋篇布局,遣词造句: 真正落实到写作过程中的,是对语言的驾驭能力。在本文中,积累常用的感谢/请求句型,对撑起整篇文章的架构而言十分关键。如I feel more than grateful./ I feel more than glad to learn that you will give us a hand./ We wonder whether you would…/Would you please give us some advice on…等句式,均可在写作中灵活运用。
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