Question

假设你是李华，你的朋友John写信告诉你他打算开通网银进行网上购物, 但你并不赞成网上购物, 于是给他写了一封信, 陈述了网上购物的弊端。

1. 浪费钱(1) 购买不需要的物品

(2)商品可能是伪劣产品

2. 不安全(1)个人资料容易泄密

(2)银行帐号被盗用

[写作内容]1. 你对网上购物的看法；

2. 你为何持有这种看法；

3. 建议理智的消费。

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Answer

Dear John,

You are writing to tell me that you are going to open the online bank service for shopping online but I don’t think it’s a good idea.

There is no doubt that it is very convenient for us to have online shopping but the disadvantages of it far outweigh the advantages. First of all, shopping online is a waste of money because buyers tend to be persuaded into buying something they don’t really need. Second, some of the products sold online are probably fake ones due to lack of supervision. What’s worse, nowadays there are also many reports related to online shopping that personal information and even bank accounts are stolen.

Therefore, I suggest that you think twice and remain rational when you are shopping online.

Yours,

Li Hua

【解析】

这是一篇应用文。朋友打算开通网银进行网上购物，你对此事表示不赞成，并陈述理由。

第一步：审题

体裁：应用文

时态：根据提示，时态应为一般现在时。

结构：总分法

   总分法指把主题句作为总说，把支持句作为分说，并以这种方式安排所写内容。

要求：1.表达自己的观点；2.陈述自己的理由；3.总结自己的观点。

第二步:列提纲 （重点词组）

online bank service、shop online、a waste of、be persuaded into doing、fake ones、personal information 、bank accounts、remain rational

第三步：连词成句

1.You are going to open the online bank service for shopping online.

2. Shopping online is a waste of money because buyers tend to be persuaded into buying something they don’t really need.

3. Some of the products sold online are probably fake ones.

4. There are many reports related to online shopping that personal information and even bank accounts are stolen.

5. I suggest that you think twice and remain rational when you are shopping online.

第四步：连句成篇（添加衔接成分）：

1.表文章结构顺序：First of all, Firstly/First, Secondly/Second… And then, Finally, In the end, At last

2.表并列补充关系：What is more, Besides, What’s worse, Moreover, Furthermore, In addition As well as, not only…but (also), including,

3.表转折对比关系：However, On the contrary, but, Although+clause(从句), In spite of+n/doing,On the one hand…,On the other hand… Some…,while others…,as for, so…that…

4.表因果关系：Because, As, So, Thus, Therefore, As a result

连句成文，注意使用恰当的连词进行句子之间的衔接与过渡，书写一定要规范清晰。

第五步：润色修改